i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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