Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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