I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
