Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
