Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
worst night to have a conscience
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
