so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
