I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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