It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
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