and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
