jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
