do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
