my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
