every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
