I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
