there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
