On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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