All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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