My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
