my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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