Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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