I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
