dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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