I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
