The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
