you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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