I wanna passion pit in your ass
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Randomize
