bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
