lets start a swedish sibling band together
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Randomize
