Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
