The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
