you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
