so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
