well I can't set my house on fire every night
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
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