I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
