$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
