God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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