This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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