Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
