I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
