i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Randomize
