I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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