all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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