i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
