Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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