..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
