He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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