she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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