Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
