Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Randomize
