this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
