Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
