Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
